Not What It Seems
by Yutaan
Summary: Yusuke's being tortured! Kurama's dead! Yukina's two-timing Kuwabara!...or are they? Nothing is what it seems....IN MY BRAIN! MUHAHAHAHA! Abandoned-slash-permanent hiatus.
1. Default Chapter

Yutaan: Hi! This is my first update, so please leave reviews and tips for improvement. No spam, flames, or random letters typed over and over, thanks.   
  
Ashley: holds up sign She doesn't own YuYu Hakusho.   
  
Yutaan: …Ashley-chan, the sign is upside down.   
  
Ashley: I know. Oh yeah, and please note that this is a HUMOR fic. Meaning, the beginnings of chapters are overly dramatic and seem like some weird thing is happening. Okay? Okay. Just checking, 'cause everyone gets scared by this first chapter. Goodbye. drops sign and runs  
  
Yutaan: waving enthusiastically Ashley-chan is my best friend, OC, and muse. She's kinda scary, but you learn to love her.   
  
…Oh, yeah, and this is the second time I've submitted this fic; hopefully this time it has indentations…. Heh. Those didn't upload last time.   
  
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
NOT WHAT IT SEEMS  
  
-a YYH fic-   
  
Chapter One: Bloody Battle?   
  
Tortured screams rent the air, seeming to slice through thick walls and icy silence like knives. They swirled akin to the tormented souls of the damned, ringing harshly in Keiko's ears.   
  
She bent her head forward, concentrating hard on her hands folded tightly in her lap. Her knuckles turned white as Yusuke shrieked again, stretching her frail will with its wordless notes of agony.   
  
"Keiko help me!"   
  
She gritted her teeth and pushed her hair over her ears, a futile attempt to block out the ghastly sounds.   
  
"He's killing m-" Yusuke's fresh cry was suddenly choked off, an alien whine boring deep into Keiko's chest. She heard thrashing and harsh, guttural noises. Her pulse pounded; her fingernails left half-moon dents in her skin. She couldn't take much more of this….  
  
Another wordless scream tore through the room, and Keiko's last ounce of strength shattered like a dropped mirror. She leapt to her feet, flaming heat rushing to her head and magnifying her speeding heartbeat. She flew through the dim hallways, searching for Yusuke, her labored breathing echoing off the frigid walls.   
  
A final cry led her to a small doorway, tinged green in the glaring light. Keiko shoved it open and came upon a horrible scene: a masked man leaning over a writhing Yusuke, a sharp, gleaming instrument in one hand, a hissing tube in the other.  
  
Yusuke spotted her and clawed dramatically in her direction. "Oh my god, Keiko! Get me outta here!"   
  
The man straightened up, pulled down his green mask, and sighed wearily. "Now, Mr. Urameshi, only one more cavity to fill and then we're done." Yusuke made some horrible groaning sounds in reply, rolling his eyes back.  
  
Keiko stomped her foot. "Jeez Yusuke, can't you even behave at the dentist?!"   
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Yutaan: Okay, well… thanks for reading. Yeah, the point of the fic is for you to think one thing is going on, usually something overly dramatic and dangerous, when something else is really going on… also probably overly dramatic and dangerous. Soooo… um. Yeah. Please review and check for Chapter Two next week, because CH.2 is my favorite one. Heh… I shoulda started with that one….  
  
Ashley: FLAMETHROWERS! MWAHAHA! 


	2. Kurama's Dead?

Yutaan: ACK! bow, bow GOMEN NASAI GOMEN NASAI! I am SO sorry; I thought I was going to have time to upload this chapter before I went to Ohio (I was planning to update every week). But, I didn't, I'm SORRY! pant pant

Okay, thank you to EVERYBODY who reviewed!!!! dives into pile of reviews and hugs them MWEEDAH! REVIEWS MAKE 'TAAN-CHAN HAPPYYYYYY!

Ashley: She's a spazz. We love this chapter. Read on! She doesn't own nothing.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

NOT WHAT IT SEEMS

Chapter Two: Kurama's Dead?

Hiei gasped and dove headfirst into the murky, frigid water. His katana weighed him down, dragging him down towards bottom, but he struggled against it, searching, searching... He was forced to surface, choking for air, then dove again, looking for any sign, empty hands clawing at the water.

_There!_ A tangle of long red hair swirled beneath him. Hiei seized a slackened arm and dragged his catch upward, aiming for the shimmering disk of sunlight above him.

Hiei's foot struck rock; his head broke the surface. Gasping and choking, he dragged the limp body up onto dry land. But there were no coughs, no whimpers, other than his own. He turned the body over and stared into lifeless eyes.

"Oh my god!" He lifted the body into his arms. It was shockingly light, seeming to weigh hardly more than a feather. Limp limbs flopped against his chest; tangled red hair swept the ground, dripping water. No movement! No breathing!

Hiei shot to his feet and ran out of the grove of trees, his precious folded still and silent against his chest. Black stones rolled from his eyes, echoing his panicked footsteps with sharp staccato _clack_s.

He ran to passerby, screaming for help. "Help me! Ambulance! No – no breathing – Please!" People stared at him, moving away. No couldn't they see - ....

He grabbed one woman's arm, begging her, "Can't you help?! Do something! There's no heartbeat!. The woman eyed the wet redheaded body and wrenched her arm away, stabbing at Hiei with the words:

"Get away from me, you freak."

Hiei stumbled away from the center of town. He saw familiar faces, but they blurred as he tore past them, his feet carrying him up a well-known path... The path to the redheaded boy who could fix any hurt, kiss away wounds, wipe any mishap into the past....

Hiei burst into the yard, seeming so empty now. Even the roses looked pallid and half-dead, reflecting the tragedy. The sun chilled his skin, biting at him with twisting teeth, sorrow gnawing even more ferociously at his insides.

Sobbing, clutching the cold body, Hiei fell to his knees in the center of the yard, screaming to the sky: _"KURAMAAAAAA!"_

A door slammed. "What?" Kurama asked. Spotting Hiei kneeling in his backyard, a resigned look crossed his face. "You dropped your Raggedy Ann doll in the pond again, didn't you?"

Hiei nodded tearfully, holding out the doll. Kurama sighed, took it, wrung it out, kissed it, and handed it back. "All better?"

Hiei eyed Raggedy Ann and put his thumb in his mouth. He nodded. "All better."

PS: Neko-chan or Chibi-chan... I NEED TO KNOW ONI'S ADDRESS! I want to send her stuff... sniff.


	3. Yukina?

Yutaan: You know what? I've just realized that whenever I put those cute little star-thingies into my Author's Notes, they don't show up on the site. It's annoying. And my line didn't show up after the end of Chapter Two.

Ashley: ...Whatever. Okay, after the chapter I'll read off Yutaan's replies to the reviewers. Tune in. She doesn't own Yu Yu. Don't sue us.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter Three: Yukina?

Kuwabara grinned, brushing his carrot-colored curls away from his cough ugly cough face. He kept his eyes on the aqua-haired, blue-kimonoed female darting in front of him. Her slim hips swayed nicely back and forth as she ran, smooth cloth shifting over her body. Yukina glanced back and giggled at him.

"Hurry up, Kazuma!"

Yukina bounced up the cement steps of the old building, her rear waggling suggestively at him, and slipped inside. The koorime paused for a second in the doorway, crimson eyes mischievous, then disappeared into the badly lit interior.

Kuwabara's smile widened. A dark, isolated building... Yukina acting all flirty... Oh boy, he knew what was gonna happen soon: fireworks! Crossing bases! In fact, the whole damn amusement park! He was going to finally get down an' dirty with his with Yukina-gumdrop!

He carefully maneuvered himself through the narrow doorway. Yukina laughed again, catching the murky light like crystals and dazzling Kuwabara's eyes, then danced around the corner. Kuwabara turned it just in time to see a door swing shut. "Come on," came a muffled, coaxing whisper, slinking through the darkness.

Kuwabara slid into the closet, closing the door behind him. Instantly, the small, thin young woman pressed up against him, frail hands exploring his chest, waist, and following his neck up to his face. One arm circled tentatively around him, then pulled him downward with surprising force.

Kuwabara leaned down, aiming for where he thought Yukina's mouth was. He got a clump of hair stuck in his mouth, but second try he got it dead-center, and then things started getting interesting. Even though he could barely make out Yukina's blueish hair and gemstone eyes, he could tell _exactly_ what was going on in her mind.

Her small hands went all over him, his likewise, and the air began getting very warm. Kuwabara suddenly found out that he didn't need his jacket, and Yukina seemd to agree. In fact, she didn't seem to think she needed a jacket, either. Or a shirt.

The floor suddenly leapt up, and there were several flurries of tonsil hockey, and finally one long, long kiss down in the corner – Yukina nestled up against Kuwabara's chest, her long blue hair undone and spilling over his neck, and hard breathing slowly winding down.... _This is the life_, Kuwabara thought.

Then she spoke. "Wow, Koenma sir, you're very good."

_KOENMA?!_

Yukina blinked as she looked around at the group of assorted humans, demons,

and detectives. "I think Kazuma got lost, Mr. Koenma. He was right behind me... We were all supposed to have our meeting here, right?"

The prince sucked thoughtfully on his pacifier and nodded. "Yes... you know, Botan got lost too... Maybe she and Kuwabara will find each other."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yutaan: Heh. Heh heh. No more make-out scenes, I suck at 'em.

Ashley: Okay, now the stuff that makes the Author's Notes longer than the chapter: replies!

"Thanks to EVERYONE for reviewing (), and Yutaan wants to respond to these reviewers:

Melody89: Thankx! Of course I'll post more! And about your stories, go for it – review/e-mail me when you do post, and I'll be sure to read it, okay?

Neko-Jinx: You reviewed TWICE! happy dance About Chapter One, I'll try to be more subtle about what's really going on. And I'm glad you liked Chapter Two!

KumiHatari: I'm glad you're not dead. ...I'm also glad you're not suing me.

Neko and Chibi: Don't need Oni's address anymore, thanks! I'm glad you guys liked it. Yes, the chapters are all gonna be pretty short... But I wanna compare schedules too, 'kay? See you at school! (Blaugh. School.)

And thank you to everyone else, too! Reviews are what make writing fics rewarding!"

Ashley:...You're very... bouncy, 'Taan-chan.

Yutaan: MWEEDAH!


	4. Assassination?

Ashley: HA! And you thought she was dead....

Yutaan: clinging to Ashley's ankle ...I'm not so sure I'm alive....

Ashley: pats Yutaan on the head JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE LOTS OF HOMEWORK DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN'T WRITE! Anyway, to you readers, three things:

1)'Taan has started high school, so updates will be maybe once every month.

2) We're out of ideas – even though Yutaan has nine chapters written, she scrapped three of 'em. So if you have a suggestion for a chapter, leave it in a review! pries Yutaan off of her ankle with her katana E-mails work too, but as neither of us knows how to use a computer, we employed Zero, her otouto-chan. And he doesn't tell us what the e-mails say. So! Ya.

3) Disclaimer: If she owned it, Kurama and Hiei would be together.

Yutaan: bounces up YAOI! WHERE?!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter Four: Assassination?

Yusuke waited, biding his time, until the last rays of sunlight faded from between the blinds. As the shadows deepened, grew and joined together, he stood, grimly pulling on his dark clothing and brushing his hair down over his face, concealing his eyes. Camouflage complete, he carefully opened the closet door. He kicked aside a pile of wrinkled garments. In the dim evening glow, something made of dark metal gleamed at him, faint light reflecting off its cold form like a giant eye.

Yusuke stood and wrapped his hands around the gun. He caressed the trigger, ran his fingers over the smooth barrel, squinted through the sight. Its cold metal body came alive at his touch, seeming eager for the hunt to begin. Blood pounded in his ears, holding the silent voice of the weapon, urging him to get the job done, cautioning him against detection, making him tremble in anticipation....

Yusuke pulled his hood up over his head, slipping the gun into the large front pocket of the sweater. It settled heavily against his stomach, absorbing his body heat. It clacked softly against the windowsill as he climbed out into the night.

Yusuke darted silently from the pooling shadow of the house, stopping only to retrieve his ammunition from its hiding place – a bush at the edge of the yard. He glanced up at the blank windows, scanning them for light or movement, making sure he had not been seen. Then he silently made his way down the street, avoiding silver patches of moonlight, keeping to friendly shadows. His own shadow stretched long behind him, barely distinguishable from the night's own dark.

His footsteps were quiet, but confident, stepping deftly over fallen leaves and branches. Yusuke had been studying his target for weeks, learning of his strengths, intelligence – and of his weaknesses. Yusuke knew how to pull this off. BANG, one shot to the back of the head. He never missed.

He reached the stand of trees, their majestic presence announcing the beginning of the woods. Yusuke scanned the branches for signs of his target. Hiei was known for being hard to spot, for staying out of his opponent's reach and sight. But Hiei believed Yusuke to be a friend... surely no one had tipped him off?

Wait - yes - there, there he was, blending into the darkness atop an oak tree's sturdy branches, leaning casually – arrogantly – against the trunk. But his katana was flashing in the moonlight, a fatal mistake. It was like Hiei had painted a bull's-eye onto himself.

Yusuke heard quiet rustling behind him, and suddenly became aware of the sweat running down his face, the way his grip on the gun was slightly shaky. He cautiously lifted the weapon to his shoulder, glared down the barrel, lining up his shot with Hiei's spiky head. His slippery finger groped for the trigger, and then he –

POW!!

Shock waves exploded from between Yusuke's shoulder blades, sending him sprawling to the cold earth. Pain crackled along his spine, and he watched through blurring eyes as his shot went wild, smashing into the tree trunk nearly ten feet above Hiei. The three-eyed demon glared down at him and smirked, with an air of someone who knows he has just outwitted a master.

_I've been shot...._ Yusuke thought sluggishly, his brain shutting down._ How...? Who...?...._

A booted foot slammed down to the ground in front of Yusuke's face, then Hiei's black-bound feet landed catlike beside it. Yusuke heard Kurama's bitter laugh, and then, "You see, Yusuke, I told you I wouldn't just _allow_ you to attack Hiei."

Groaning with pain, Yusuke felt for his back with trembling hands. When he looked at his fingers, they were smeared with dripping liquid, seeming to burn and mock him for his own mortality. Nothing is forever. "How... c-could you have known?" he rasped, his poor body aching and screaming at him.

"Your mother hired us to take you out, fool," Hiei said. He leaned forward, smirking, bringing his face down toward his victim's. "Hn. Baka. You _know_ she said no more nighttime paintball, Yusuke."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Inspired by my brothers Zero and Fireblade, who dye the yard different colors with their paintball guns.

Thanx to all reviewers! Sorry about the late update!


	5. Hot and Heavy?

Yutaan: GAAAH! I'M SORRY! ::bow:: I had some trouble logging in and couldn't get on until now! ::glomps readers:: THANK YOU FOR WAITING!!!

Ashley: YATTA! I LOVE THIS CHAPTER! Yutaan doesn't own Yu Yu Hakush- hey, it's snowing... damn.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

NOT WHAT IT SEEMS

Chapter Five: Hot n' Heavy? (Ashley: MUAHAHAHA....)

"Oh my god, there she goes!" Yusuke ducked down behind the low garden wall of the Yukimoura house, yanking Kuwabara down by his jacket. They landed with loud _thump_s,but fortunately Keiko was too busy locking her door to notice. Pulling her coat up against the late autumn cold, tucking her chestnut hair behind her ears, she proceeded down her driveway, patent shoes tapping against the pavement.

Yusuke scrambled up and followed, ducking into shadows and behind trees. Kuwabara walked in a straight line down the middle of the street. Yusuke hissed at him, but the orange-top couldn't be bothered.

A blurred figure joined Keiko up ahead, similarly bundled into a coat, but even from their distance the boys could see sky-blue hair spilling from under the woolen cap. Two others detached themselves from various patches of evening shadow and united with them. Yusuke jerked Kuwabara to a halt, pointed and hissed, "See? There's Botan an' Yukina an' your sister! They all keep joining up every week!"

"So where're they going?" Kuwabara said, in a very loud voice, scratching his orange head. "You sure we should be spying like this, Urameshi?"

"Shut up and _watch!_" They squinted and kept an eye on the four females as they continued up the street, then turned and headed downtown. The delinquents followed them all the way, running feet lost in a spray of brown, crackling leaves.

Finally, the girls seemed to have reached their destination. Glancing around fervently, Keiko knocked twice on the door of a small one-story house. Immediately, the door swung open, a rectangle of light polling over the four girls. They hurried inside, and the door locked behind them with a _snap_.

"Shit, c'mon!" Yusuke vaulted over the fence and landed in the rose bushes, while Kuwabara strolled through the gate, looking around.

"Hey... Urameshi... this is Kurama's house."

"WHAT?!" Yusuke beat the bushes into submission and struggled out, tripping onto his face. "WHADDYA MEAN, KURAMA'S?! HE'S PLAYIN' MY GIRL?!"

"Urameshi, Kurama wouldn't -" Kuwabara was cut off by a burst of feminine laughter, then a distinct squeal. Suddenly, there were several thumps and Kurama's voice clearly said,

"Well, ladies, shall we get started?" There were a lot of delighted shrieks and giggles in reply, then more thumping. Something rustled softly, then hit the ground with a soft _swish_.

Wide-eyed, Yusuke and Kuwabara crept up to the double-plated window. They peered through, and their mouths fell slightly open as they watched the... activity... going on inside. There was silence for a few minutes, save for muffled squeals, laughter, moans, and hard breathing from inside the room.

Then Kuwabara said, "Kurama's very flexible, isn't he?"

"Yeah. And look at Keiko! Jeez!" Yusuke's eyes grew to (roughly) the size of tennis balls. "I didn't even know her legs could _do_ that...."

"And my sister! Wow, she's really enjoying herself, huh?... And y'know...." Kuwabara's voice cracked on the next few syllables, "...so's Yukina...."

Silence.

"Man, I wonder how he got all of them to come. He's good. I thought girls needed, y'know, _individual_ time. And like, they won't do anything with you unless you talk about your feelings for -"

"Is that Hiei? It _is_ Hiei!"

"_What?!_" Kuwabara mashed his face against the window. "JEEZ! He's going right in with Yukina!"

"Holy crap, didja see 'im _bend?_ Bodies can _do_ that?"

"Kurama's got competition now."

A few more minutes passed. Finally, Yusuke slowly turned to Kuwabara, a devious smile lighting his face. "...You thinking what I'm thinking?"

Kuwabara managed to tear his eyes away from the heaving tangle of arms, legs, and straining bodies. "Yeah. Let's join in. I wanna play Twister too!"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ashley: MUAHAHAHA! ::cuts up random objects with her katana::

Yutaan: Thank you to Suzaku no miko, melody89, Umi Jaganshi, KaraKurama, and ALL OTHER REVIEWERS! ::huggle:: Your reviews make my writing worthwhile!!!!

Ashley: ::reads chappie again:: That was a great chance for some yaoi, 'Taan-chan. Ya blew it.

Yutaan:...Crap.


	6. 6 Proposal?

Yutaan: HAPPY POST-HOLIDAYS! ::passes out truffles:: I won my truffles in a Christmas game! Go me!

Ashley: Ahem. Yes. Well, Yutaan's sorry she didn't update last month, and she gives you truffles blah blah blah and all that lovely crap….

Yutaan: OH! ::ceases eating truffles:: You're right. GOMEN NASAIIIIII! I'M NOT SURE IF ANYONE REALLY CARES IF I MISS AN UPDATE BUT GOMEN NASAI ANYWAY!!! To apologize, I am handing out my candy.

Ashley: Disclaimer thing - who the hell would think we own it?

Yutaan: ::nod nod:: Yeah, then it'd be a yaoi. …or at least Kurama would get more screen time.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 6: Proposal? ()

"I love you." Kurama's voice sounded dry and scratchy, the words grating against each other. They bit at one another in an endless contradiction – friendship to love, mistakes to intent, hope to fear, pleading to pride. The meanings of the different sounds became clear a moment after the release, like sound rolls by in a tidal wave after the object has already passed. Just words – little words, amazingly small, yet so powerful that a single expression, a single _movement _by the other person can bless or destroy someone else's entire world.

The someone, of course, was Kurama, and the bearer of his destiny was standing awkwardly across from him – a certain small, blood-eyed, black-haired demon. The little wonderful evil words surrounded him, hanging in the air like a perfume.

Acceptance - instant and complete joy. Rejection – utter and cruel punishment. But sometimes, what is even worse is the pause, after the phrase has been spoken, and all hopes and dreams and wishes and fears are balanced on the tongue of the receiver, a knife-edge to the throat….

There was no response to Kurama's utterance. No wavering of expression, no slight movement of limbs; the garnet-flashing eyes did not even blink. Only someone standing very close could have seen the nearly imperceptible change, more in spirit than in body, and every aspect of that alteration screamed uncertainty.

Kurama paused, and then, with a hint of panic in his voice, added, "I've loved you ever since I met you." Still nothing. Hiei's eyes flickered and became guarded and cold. Instant death.

The red-haired youkai rose suddenly to his feet, brushing one hand back through his long locks and seizing Hiei's hand with the other, turning the palm upright. He drew his signature, his rose, sweet and soft and fierce with thorns, and slapped it down hard into the smaller demon's hand, forcibly curling both their fingers about the stem. Blood welled in beads from the intertwined fingers and slid silently down the two wrists, ruby shards on snow. The next four words were spoken in an unintentionally harsh way, jabbing the air with barely concealed desperation, pleading for a reply of any kind:

"Do you love me?"

Hiei flinched, just barely, obviously trying to steel himself, but undeniably wincing away from the closeness of their two bodies. Everyone saw it. Hiei saw it himself, and his face closed off for good, defensive against anything and everything. Kurama not only witnessed, but felt the refusal.

There was a deadened silence.

Finally, when the quiet had become heavy enough to smother, suffocate, drown someone in their own shattered world, Kurama said softly, "So… I've made a mistake, then?" Nothing more was said, but the soft sushing sound as Hiei drew back his hand, the single drop of Kurama's blood, spiraling alone through the air and crashing to the floorboards, spoke volumes.

A slight pause. Then Yusuke said, making a face, "Oh, okay. Fine. That was good acting. You get ten points for that." He put up ten tally marks on Kurama and Hiei's side of the scoreboard. "Damn, I thought 'Rejected Lover' would get ya. Okay, next up – Botan an' Keiko. You guys get 'Harry Potter Drunk'." The girls glared. "C'mon, you said think of a new game if I don't like Twister. Acting is fun. Be Harry!"

Hiei hmphed, went back to his corner and sat in his chair with a clang, glowering at anyone who dared to engage him in conversation. As everyone went on with the game, no one noticed that he'd discreetly slipped the rose inside his cloak.

…Well, except the authoress, and she was far away and too busy cackling to do anything.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yutaan: Longer than usual! I must say, the melodrama is nearly killing me, but I hope you guys enjoy it, and can believe I write like this on purpose. I can write in a serious way. Really. I can. …I just don't…. Ah, an' thanx to all my wonderful reviewers! Mwee! AND SPECIAL THANX TO KURAMAFANGIRL11, WHO I AM CONVINCED IS MA SOUL SISTAH. ::huggles the reviewers:: Your comments are the food of the fic writers! Feed meh, please!

Ashley: ::reading notecards:: And you guys, even if you think your ideas suck, leave them in a review. Or else, we've got one - or maybe two - chapters left, and then _Not What It Seems_ is dead.

…Well, isn't that cheery….


	7. Chapter 7

Yutaan: I AM SO SORRY! I don't mean to miss updates, I really don't…. but after some severe YYH withdrawal (cured by a healthy dose of Kurama-kun from the DVD my li'l bro got me) and multiple crashes of my hard drive… Well…. Sigh.

Ashley:looking back over the whole fic: Have you noticed that you have NEVER updated on time? Not once. How about we just celebrate the fact that the lazy author updated instead of studying for finals?

Yutaan: (0.0) …Ouch. _Disclaimer_: I do not own YuYu. If I did, I would screw it up beyond repair. :kicks TV: LIKE _YOU_, STUPID CARTOON NETWORK! CANCELLING A MASTERPIECE LIKE YUYU FOR ZATCH BELL! GODDAMMIT! Ah yes…. Once again, I'm sorry…. But I love my B-Day YuYu DVD! Oh happy day!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter Seven: Murder?

Yusuke glared down at his shoes. Stupid mom, deciding all of a sudden that she wanted to cook a meal, making him go out and buy a cookbook… Stupid bookstore clerk standing behind him the whole time…. Stupid alarm, going off just because he had a _few_ manga shoved under his coat….

Yusuke kicked at some slushy, gray-crusted snow left beside the road. His mom had been all perky and happy - for once without being "under the influence" – and she and all the other girls had been like, "_Go get us a cookbook, Yusuke! We're gonna make smoothies! And then we're gonna make some chocolate crap thing! And blah blah blah! And blah crap blah blah!_" He was cold and hungry and he didn't want to walk the rest of the way back to his house. Stupid girls. Stupid everything! He wished everybody else was _gone!_

Little did he know….

Yusuke turned onto his own street, still looking downward, when suddenly he felt a chill travel up his spine. He jerked his head up and glanced around, finally shrugging off his apprehension. But still, he unconsciously hurried to get to his own house.

When our demon-fighting juvenile delinquent seized the doorknob, he felt another tremor beneath his skin. This time, however, he was able to place the reason within a moment.

…It was the silence. He had left a house crammed with estrogen – his mother, Keiko, Botan, Shizuru and Yukina. They had all (well, except Shizuru) been yapping and squealing and giggling so loudly the neighbors might mistake the little cook-off for some sort of orgy. (A/N: What is an orgy, anyway?) But now….

Yusuke's out-of-style slicked-back hair prickled upward slightly, and he almost violently opened the door, putting all his weight against it. The door screeched as it opened, giving the effect of knives scraping across a window.

Yusuke took one look inside and reeled.

It looked like an explosion of red. His feet slipped in it, and he landed butt-first in a scarlet puddle. He splashed as he hit the floor, and sheets of crimson arced over his head and drenched him in a warm, sticky, coppery-tasting wave.

Copper?

Yusuke hauled himself to his feet. His hands made smears along the wall. Bright red. Liquid. He looked at his fingers, his hands, the vivid bloody color dripping down and imbedding itself in the lines of his palms. It slid over his wrists and soaked maroon into his jacket.

It was the afterimage of every fight, every demonic encounter, ever punch and kick and badly-dodged blast he'd ever faced…. He was a seasoned street veteran. He could recognize blood.

"Mom!" His voice echoed. The hallway normally never looked so big. Crimson sunrises were splashed on the cream-colored walls, dripping scarlet sunbeams to the floor. No one answered. "_Mom! Keiko!_" His throat closed around the words. He coughed. "_Keiko!_" Something dripped. Something moved.

_Kriiiiiiiiiii_-…. The door to the closet creaked softly and suddenly burst open. Yusuke swallowed his shriek; what emerged was a strangled noise. He leaped away and grabbed a slippery lamp, ripping the plug from the socket. He raised it over his head as a shield -

And Yukina fell out of the closet, landing on her knees in the mess. Her kimono was stained red-brown, and she was hanging onto a bent eggbeater like a club. She looked up, eyes wide, the same color as the floor and splashes on the walls. " – Oh -! Oh!"

Yusuke stopped his lamp in mid-swing.

Yukina scrambled up, still staring at the space slightly above his head. "Y-You came back!" She was breathing hard, sucking deeply on air, as though she'd been holding her breath, trying to quell the slightest sound. "I – I – I tried to stop them – b-but they _wouldn't_ -" She shook her head and whimpered. "And your mother – she wouldn't listen!"

A thought began to form in the back of Yusuke's head, even more terrible than that of a mass murder. He pushed past Yukina, sliding on the wet floorboards, and slammed his shoulder against the kitchen door. It stuck. He pulled back to ram it again.

Yukina stumbled after him and grabbed his arm. "Don't go in! Atsuko-san might still be -"

A horrible screaming, grinding noise erupted from inside the kitchen, not unlike that of a chainsaw. Yusuke heard his mother giggling and Botan shrieking, "Atsuko-san! Turn it off! Please!"

Yusuke reared backwards, dislodging Yukina, and crashed full-force into the door, absorbing the brunt of the impact in his shoulder. The hinges squealed, the bottom frame growled, and the door popped open and deposited our delinquent in the heap on the kitchen tile. He scrambled up, clutching his lamp-club.

His mother was cackling in the middle of the kitchen, drenched in sticky red liquid and wielding… a blender. Keiko and Botan were cowering in terror behind the counter, trying (unsuccessfully) to avoid the large globs of scarlet fluid being hurled through the air. And Shizuru was standing in the corner, still-lit cigarette stuck behind her crimson-spattered ear, trying doggedly to yank the plug from the socket.

…

Yusuke stared for a few moments, then shouted, "**_MOM!_**"

Atsuko turned around, blender held high over her head, just as Shizuru gave the plug one final wrench. The wire emerged with a THOK and the blender screeched, rattled, and finally gurgled into silence.

Atsuko blinked at him innocently. "Oh, hi, honey…." she said vaguely, and put the blender down. She stuck a spoon into the blood-red swill it and lifted said spoon up to her son's mouth. "Try our smoothie!"

"S-Smoo…thie…?" Yusuke stared down at the glop in horror. "What KIND of smoothie? Fingers! Keiko, lemmee see your hands!"

"Fingers? Oh honey… you're so funny…. ha," said Atsuko, and thrust in the spoon. "I added salt to make it interesting!"

"Yes, I mean…" Botan chirruped as she emerged, "I admit Atsuko got a little overexcited when we started adding raspberries, but you know how things are…."

"Raspberries," Yusuke said, still in shock. Smoothie erupted from his mouth.

"And strawberries, and cherries, and some watermelon…." Keiko counted on her (perfectly-okay) fingers, "…and ketchup. Yukina has a thing for ketchup."

"Yum," said Shizuru disinterestedly, plunking down at the dripping table. She put her cigarette back into her mouth. "So, grease-boy… where's our cookbook?"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yutaan:sigh: Thank you all so much for continuing to read this fic even though I'm such bad updater…. Seven chapters in a year… Gawd….

Ashley: Was this thing confusing? Who the hell adds SALT to smoothies:huggles Yutaan: Ah, whatever...


End file.
